Brewing and delivering kilju (2024)

This article is about kilju in general. For the item, see Kilju (item).

Kilju (Strong homemade brew) (pronounced keel-you) is a homemade alcoholic drink created by using sugar, yeast, and water. Kilju was fairly popular in Finland during the economic recession of the 1990s, as people were looking for a cheap way to produce homemade alcohol beverages.

Brewing kilju[]

Kilju can be consumed by the player or it can be sold to Jouko at his house which is near Livaloinen's house, or his new house if the player has helped him move.

Kilju is stored and transported inside plastic juice bottles. After being sold to the drunk guy, the empty bottles can be found at the landfill site.

Brewing process[]

In order to brew kilju, the player will need to buy at least 1 yeast packet (costing 8.95 mk) and 6 packs of sugar (costing 41.7 mk) from Teimo's shop. The player should also purchase all 6 juice concentrate (costing 77.7 mk) and drink all of them to get the empty cans. Only a maximum of 6 juice cans can be bought until the store restocks them every Thursday night, but the player should get 20 empty cans over time. The brewing bucket that can be found in the cottage on the small island in the lake is also required for the brewing process. The kilju recipe can be found on the side of a sugar bag. The recipe is in Finnish, and it says:

Kilju recipe: 5 parts water, 1 part sugar, 1 packet yeast. Pour the sugar in the brewing bucket, add water and yeast. Close the lid. Kilju is ready after the bubbling ends.

The bucket is 30 liters, so the optimum recipe includes 6 bags of sugar and 1 packet of yeast.

Drop the sugar and yeast packets into the brewing bucket and move the bucket under the tap or head in the shower, or submerge it in the lake to fill the bucket with water, then put the lid on the bucket. A bubbling sound will be heard soon after. Do not remove the lid for long amount of time during the fermentation process, or vinegar will develop. Once the yeast is visible at the top there is only a short amount of time before vinegar will start developing.

The kilju is ready when the bubbling stops and the yeast is visible at the bottom. This will take around 2 hour 30 min real time as the bubbling sound slowly decreases in frequency until the bubbling stops. When the kilju is ready, open the lid and dip the empty juice bottles in the brewing bucket. Alternatively, the brewing bucket itself can be lowered over an empty can to fill it up. 20 juice bottles are required to fully empty the bucket.

Selling kilju[]

Kilju can be sold to Jouko. He is outside his home between 06:00 and 22:00 daily. Kilju can be transported with any vehicle that has enough space for the cans.

To sell the kilju, place a kilju bottle on the table next to the drunk guy and wait for him to taste the product. After tasting he'll hand out money. Proceed to put kilju bottles on the table one by one and take the money from drunk guy. It is not necessary to take the money after each bottle – the amount of money in his hand increases every time a container is placed on the table despite the fact that he never appears to reach for more money.

After placing a minimum of 3 bottles of kilju on the table, Jouko will ask the player to drink a bottle along with him in order to sell more kilju. The bottle must be picked from the table, preventing the player from bringing and using their own bottles filled with water. After drinking, Jouko will randomly ask the player to drink again every 1-5 bottles sold to him thereafter until the player leaves (this "counter" can be additionally reset by saving and exiting the game at any nearby toilet). The player will not be compensated for the kilju they drink. The player can safely drink 3 high quality bottles of kilju before passing out.

Depending on how well the kilju is brewed, the player will be paid a varying sum of money. The highest sum the player can be paid is 170 mk per can. Using five packs of sugar instead of six results in a weaker brew which will only be worth 130 mk per container.

The player may attempt to cheat Jouko by letting him try good kilju with the first bottle, but the rest of the bottles put on the table can just be filled with water. He will not notice immediately that he was fooled and pay for the bottles in full. Doing this, however, will later enrage Jouko and cause him to slash the Satsuma's tires, if there are any on the car, which will then need to be replaced by Fleetari, and he will unbolt the brake lines which will inevitably cause the brakes to fail.

Functions[]

Buying the bottles:

p = n*170 - 50.65 - n*12.95

Not buying the bottles

p = n*170 - 50.65

(Where p is profit and n is number of bottles)

Jouko tasting quotes[]

Main article: Jouko/Transcript

• "Let's see how good sugar wine this is..."
• "This tastes nothing but yeast! This is sh*t, take it an away."
• "Very good sugar wine! I love this, strong as hell! I pay well for this."
• "I taste little bit yeast in this..."
• "I taste some vinegar here... could be better."
• "This tastes like water and piss, I want alcohol, not this mess..."